The Who, What, When, Where, Why and How of Repentance

[The following is a talk that was given in our Sacrament Meeting by a good friend, Suzie.  I liked it so much I asked for her permission to post it here on my blog.  She consented so here it is.  I hope you find it as rewarding a I did.]

Today my talk is on Repentance.

I was assigned read Elder David A. Bednar talk “Clean Hands and a Pure Heart” and to teach with that as my tool. In his talk he stated that Prophets throughout the ages have emphasized the dual requirements of (1) avoiding and overcoming bad and (2) doing good and becoming better. We call this process of refinement repentance.

Brothers and sisters, it is possible for us to have clean hands but not have a pure heart. Please notice that both clean hands and a pure heart are required to ascend into the hill of the Lord and to stand in His holy place.

Let me suggest that hands are made clean through the process of putting off the natural man and by overcoming sin and the evil influences in our lives through the Savior’s Atonement. Hearts are purified as we receive His strengthening power to do good and become better. All of our worthy desires and good works, as necessary as they are, can never produce clean hands and a pure heart. It is the Atonement of Jesus Christ that provides both a cleansing and redeeming power that helps us to overcome sin and a sanctifying and strengthening power that helps us to become better than we ever could by relying only upon our own strength. The infinite Atonement is for both the sinner and for the saint in each of us.

As King Benjamin concluded his instruction, he reiterated the importance of these two basic aspects of spiritual development.

And now, for the sake of these things which I have spoken unto you—that is, for the sake of retaining a remission of your sins from day to day, that ye may walk guiltless before God (Mosiah 4:26)

Some who hear or read this message may think the spiritual progress I am describing is not attainable in their lives. We may believe these truths apply to others but not to us.

We will not attain a state of perfection in this life, but we can and should press forward with faith in Christ along the strait and narrow path and make steady progress toward our eternal destiny. The Lord’s pattern for spiritual development is “line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little” (2 Nephi 28:30). Small, steady, incremental spiritual improvements are the steps the Lord would have us take. Preparing to walk guiltless before God is one of the primary purposes of mortality and the pursuit of a lifetime; it does not result from sporadic spurts of intense spiritual activity.

Who needs to repent?

We all need to repent. The only person in this world who has never needed to repent was Jesus Christ. Who will be forgiven if they repent? Everyone will be forgiven. There is one small catch. We must also forgive others, if we want to reap the rewards of our own forgiveness.

Doctrine and Covenants 64:10

I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.

Doctrine and Covenants 82:1

Verily, verily, I say unto you, my servants, that inasmuch as you have forgiven one another your trespasses, even so I, the Lord, forgive you.

Hugh Nibly said that there are only two things that human beings can do well; and we are envied by the angels, Those two things are 1) to repent, and 2) to forgive.

President Monson said this about forgiving ourselves:

There are some who have difficulty forgiving themselves and who dwell on all of their perceived shortcomings. I quite like the account of a religious leader who went to the side of a woman who lay dying, attempting to comfort her—but to no avail. “I am lost,” she said. “I’ve ruined my life and every life around me. There is no hope for me.”

The man noticed a framed picture of a lovely girl on the dresser. “Who is this?” he asked.

The woman brightened. “She is my daughter, the one beautiful thing in my life.”
“And would you help her if she were in trouble or had made a mistake? Would you forgive her? Would you still love her?”

“Of course I would!” cried the woman. “I would do anything for her. Why do you ask such a question?”

“Because I want you to know,” said the man, “that figuratively speaking, Heavenly Father has a picture of you on His dresser. He loves you and will help you. Call upon Him.”

What is repentance?

BIBLE DICTIONARY says that Repentance is:

The Greek word which denotes a change of mind, a fresh view about God, about oneself, and about the world. Since we are born into conditions of mortality, repentance comes to mean a turning of the heart and will to God, and a renunciation of sin to which we are naturally inclined. Without this there can be no progress in the things of the soul’s salvation, for all accountable persons are stained by sin, and must be cleansed in order to enter the kingdom of heaven. Repentance is not optional for salvation; it is a commandment of God

President Ezra Taft Benson has explained that if we truly want to repent, we must demonstrate faith in Jesus Christ:

Repentance means more than simply a reformation of behavior. Many men and women in the world demonstrate great willpower and self-discipline in overcoming bad habits and the weaknesses of the flesh. Yet at the same time they give no thought to the Master, sometimes even openly rejecting Him. Such changes of behavior, even if in a positive direction, do not constitute true repentance.

Repentance Includes Forgiving Yourself. Feelings of guilt can be a healthy sign; they remind us that we have sinned and need to repent. But feeling guilty after we have genuinely repented will make us become discouraged, leaving us vulnerable to temptation again. This is one of Satan’s greatest weapons.

When do we repent?

Jesus Christ said:

Now this is the commandment: Repent, all ye ends of the earth, and come unto me and be baptized in my name, that ye may be sanctified by the reception of the Holy Ghost, that ye may stand spotless before me at the last day (3 Nephi 27:20).

You may notice he didn’t say, come unto me as soon as its convenient for you. He didn’t say when you think you are up to it. Jesus said this is a commandment, do it now. Today is the time to act.

We need to repent all the time. All day long and every evening. There is always something we could be doing better with our lives. Situations we could have handled better. Thoughts that maybe we shouldn’t have. Did we yell at someone we shouldn’t have? Is there anger in our hearts or worse hatred?

Major transgressions such as murder, adultery, or theft are not the only sins that require us to repent. We also need to repent of small things we do every day. Such things as dishonest actions, losing our tempers, showing disrespect to our family and friends, gossiping, or failing to follow through on an assignment all weaken our characters and keep us from enjoying the companionship of the Holy Ghost and becoming like our Heavenly Father.

I think Hugh Nibley described it much better then I could.

Who is righteous? Anyone who is repenting. No matter how bad he has been, if he is repenting, he is a righteous man. There is hope for him. And no matter how good he has been all his life, if he is not repenting, he is a wicked man. The difference is which way you are facing. The man on the top of the stairs facing down is much worse off than the man on the bottom step who is facing up. The direction we are facing, that is repentance; and that is what determines whether we are good or bad. (from "Of All Things" p. 7, a Hugh Nibley quote book edited by Gary Gillum, 2nd edition.)

Where do we repent?

We should confess to the person we have wronged. We must also confess to the Lord. In addition, the seriousness of the transgression may require that we go to the bishop. The bishop is there to help and not to condemn. Bishops always keep such information confidential.

We can repent anywhere and at anytime. The sooner the better. We have all put off repenting for some reason or another. But all those times were worse then they could have been. The feelings of guilt – that were finally lifted when we repented, could have come a lot sooner if we had just stopped being stubborn.

So the time to repent is now.

Why do we repent?

D&C 18: 22

And as many as repent and are abaptized in my name, which is Jesus Christ, and bendure to the end, the same shall be saved.

Plain and simple – we repent because 1st we are commanded to, so that is showing our obedience. And the second reason, is we came here to this earth so that we may return to live with our Heavenly Father again. Repentance is our first step to get back to him.

A story I always liked is the Forgotten Wedges by Samuel T. Whitman. I am sure most of you have heard it, but I shall share it again today.

The ice storm wasn't generally destructive. True, a few wires came down, and there was a sudden jump in accidents along the highway. Walking out of doors became unpleasant and difficult. It was disagreeable weather, but it was not serious. Normally, the big walnut tree could easily have borne the weight that formed on its spreading limbs. It was the iron wedge in its heart that caused the damage.

The story of the iron wedge began years ago when the white-haired farmer was a lad on his father's homestead. The sawmill had then only recently been moved from the valley, and the settlers were still finding tools and odd pieces of equipment scattered about...

On this particular day, it was a faller's wedge - wide, flat, and heavy, a foot or more long, and splayed from mighty poundings. The path from the south pasture did not pass the woodshed; and, because he was already late for dinner, the lad laid the wedge ... between the limbs of the young walnut tree his father had planted near the front gate. He would take the wedge to the shed right after dinner, or sometime when he was going that way.

He truly meant to, but he never did. It was there between the limbs, a little tight, when he attained his manhood. It was there, now firmly gripped, when he married and took over his father's farm. It was half grown over on the day the threshing crew ate dinner under the tree. ... Grown in and healed over, the wedge was still in the tree the winter the ice storm came.

In the chill silence of that wintry night, with the mist like rain sifting down and freezing where it fell, one of the three major limbs split away from the trunk and crashed to the ground. This so unbalanced the remainder of the top that it, too, split apart and went down. When the storm was over, not a twig of the once-proud tree remained.

Early the next morning, the farmer went out to mourn his loss. "Wouldn't have had that happen for a thousand dollars," he said. "Prettiest tree in the valley, that was."

Then, his eyes caught sight of something in the splintered ruin. "The wedge," he muttered reproachfully. "The wedge I found in the south pasture." A glance told him why the tree had fallen. Growing edge-up in the trunk, the wedge had prevented the limb fibers from knitting together as they should.

This story shows how small things can become big things. WE need to take the time to deal with them as they come into our lives. If we keep putting them off, we can never truly heal, and someday our own lack of action on a small thing, may be the cause of some very large problem. Today is the day to take care of our futures.

How do we repent?

• a. Recognize our sins
We take a look at our selves and see what we need to change. What are we doing wrong? Pick out the things in our lives that need to be improved.

• b. Feel sorrow for our sins
We need to feel sorrow and regret so that it helps us not want to do it again. These emotions while unpleasant – are a very good guideline to follow. How would we be able to tell write from wrong with out sorrow or remorse?

• c. Have faith in the atonement of Jesus Christ
We can change everything in our lives, but without faith in Jesus Christ, his atoning sacrifice does NOT cover our sins. He willingly suffered for all our sins, but he cant help us if we do not believe in him.

• d. Confess our sins
You must be the judge of this. To whom should you confess? If you are unsure, you can always call on your Bishop. Most time if you have done something to someone else, you must confess to them. The greater the transgressing, the more things that will be required of you to do to gain your forgiveness. This is also for our benefit, as it help us not do it again.

• e. Abandon our sins
We must not do what we repented of again. We must move beyond that sin and cling to it no more. Sometimes we will slip and fall, just get up and repent again and keep going forward, each and every time.

• f. Make restitution for our sins
We must make the wrong write. If you stole something, give it back. If you said something unkind, apologize. If you are unsure about this step – its always safe to ask the Bishop.

• g. Keep His commandments and endure to the end
Well keeping the commandments while not easy – is pretty straight forward. But what does it mean to endure to the end? It means that to prove our sincerity we must be on guard every day so that we do not fall back into old habits. To earn God’s forgiveness we should go the extra mile, not only forsaking our sins, but doing good wherever we can. President David O. McKay said, “Happiness is righteousness”

Heavenly Father knows and loves each of us. He knows what we do, and he knows what is in our hearts. Our sins bring great sorrow to him and unhappiness to us. It is never too late to repent and start over, no matter how bad we may think we are. None of us is so good that we cannot improve in some way. When the Lord said, “Come unto me,” he was speaking to everyone.

I bear my testimony that these things are true. We can all be forgiven of our sins. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love us very much and as waiting for us to take the first steps of repentance and back to our Heavenly Father. Amen